mlle-megan-deactivated20120409 asked: thank you very much for your answer, haha. my biggest problem is that I'm hella insecure about myself x) but oh well, there's not much to do about that. would you say that your relationship's been healing, or morale-boosting, for both of you? I guess it has been, if you've been with the same person for so long, wow. and if you've been on both sides of the relationship, do you personally find it better to dom or sub? /sorry for my stupid questions haha
I welcome questions such as these!
As for My personal relationship, it’s been both of those things, at various times. Healing because W/we’ve both endured trauma and have two opposite ways of processing and reacting to it, and morale boosting because W/we both feel comfortable in our roles that W/we have carved out for ourselves.
As for Dom/sub, I am solely a Domme. My slave is strictly a slave. Switching is not something that occurs within our relationship, though if I am feeling awful/sick/etc, she can pick up slack.
Within the confines of BDSM there is no reason to feel insecure. Because much of the connection that happens within a play space involves physical activities rather than just looks, it’s easy to express yourself free from the need to be conventionally beautiful/skinny/tanned, or any combination of those. Even being “new” is welcomed and embraced.
Make a Fetlife page, and find other kinksters in your area, there are some young Doms who will willingly help you explore, I’m sure.